After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
