You work out of a Hotel?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
