Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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