Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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