All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
