i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
