we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
