Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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