Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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