Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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