Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
