Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
