i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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