I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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