so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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