I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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