But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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