I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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