Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
