Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
