I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
