hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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