When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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