she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
