he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
