whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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