My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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