so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
