Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
