I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
