You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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