insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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