Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
