New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
