I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
