Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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