That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
