But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
