Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
