see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
