oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have feelings that need drinking.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
