Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
