Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
