That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
