I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it hurts more in the daytime
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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