i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
