well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
