doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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