his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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