Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
