I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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