is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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