As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
