my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
