the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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