Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize