i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
